Dealing with a Kinky Partner

Dealing with a Kinky Partner

No matter how much of a prude you may be, when you are in a relationship, sex is eventually something you will come across at some point or another. You’ve probably been dating this person for a while now, and after a nice dinner and a few glasses of wine, you came to the realisation: “Heck, I’m just going to do it!”

 

After you both strut into the bedroom and get rid of any unnecessary items of clothing, your partner whispers something in your ear, to which your eyes go wide open: “You want to do WHAT?!”

 

If your partner is into the kinkier stuff, there are a few things that you can do about it:

  1. Compromise

Or at least, sort of. Try compromising with your partner and find a middle ground that is acceptable for both of you. They may not be getting the full package, but they will still be happy that they’ll get something. And as for you, you’ll be doing something new without jumping headfirst out of your comfort zone. Remember that if you’re not used to it, you should start out small.

 

  1. Get Kinky

Who knows, you might just like it. It’s only the two of you (unless, obviously, they want a threesome), so if you’re turned on by the idea even a little, you should try it out. If you like it, who knows, it might become a regular.

 

  1. Use Safe Words

During sex, the last thing you can probably do is form a coherent sentence. Come up with one word that can signal to your partner that this is too much for you. You may not need it, but if by any chance his or her kinks are too much for you, you need to know how to make them stop (because we are all aware that the words “No” and “Stop” don’t always apply).

 

  1. Figure Out Why They Like It

Unless their kink is something incredibly disgusting and offensive to you, don’t shoot them down immediately; instead, give it a moment and think why do they want to try this? Sometimes, it might be because they are themselves turned on by it – but other times, it may be because they think you’ll be the one that will like it. Once you find out the reason, it will be much easier for you to compromise this way.

 

  1. Take Advantage

Sex is a very powerful tool. Put that evil grin on your face and take advantage of the situation. Does he/she want to try out a new sex toy on you? Ask him/her to do it first. Does she/he want to try out an awkward position? Counter with a position of your own. At this point, if you want to get something in bed from your partner, you definitely have the upper hand.

Of course, if you completely dislike the ideas, you can just say no. Your body is your body, and if you’re not comfortable with something, you can just say no. But you should also remember that you can’t know if you like something or not unless you actually try it.

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