People learn about a healthy relationship by trial and error. It becomes more difficult when the toxic relationship habits become know as "normal" in culture and society. Irrational love stories and loud scandals with tears are submitted as a passion. It is necessary to distinguish and understand toxic relationship habits that should be avoided and even destroyed in order to build a happy family life.
Conflict masquerading as passion
This is one of the main toxic relationship habits people think are normal. Modern culture romanticizes relationships that, like a pendulum, swing from conflict to vivid compromises. There are many pitfalls in such an expression. Couples who hide the conflict behind the veil of fiery passion, are striving to achieve high "dopamine of reconciliation." So, both of them try to avoid closeness and an open talk. In this situation, partners have difficulties in resolving conflicts. Passionate marriage is a euphemism for relationships that are in distress. If you do not break this cycle of quarrels and reconciliations, the relationship will burn out.
Peace is more important than quarrels
Sometimes, it's easier to ignore things that bother you for the sake of peace. However, according to the psychologists, swallowing your negative feelings means evading the next spiral of the conflict. Such deviations have their limits. Couples who avoid quarrels, as a result, simply cannot solve the problem. In this situation, there is a positive side, you can talk about the feelings to strengthen the relationship. In conversations, you can understand why the conflict has arisen and what you need to fix the situation. And if you can’t fix that, you can always find another cute girl.
Calculations
Many people want not just relationships but also a true partnership, and for that, you need to be sure that you are on an equal footing. However, where does equality end and scoring begin? It is suggested to develop a plan together with a partner to determine the duties. The new system may include household chores, finances, childcare, but your individual preferences, schedules, strengths, and weaknesses should also be taken into account. So, you do not have to negotiate every time who does what.
Tit for tat
This toxic habit goes hand in hand with calculations. One says that they are upset by what the partner has or hasn't done something, and the partner responds symmetrically. The desire to protect yourself is natural, but all that you do is evade responsibility and hide one problem after another. Disputes and disagreements are useful if they lead to a solution to the problem.
Absence of disputes
To argue all the time is bad, but it's even worse not to do that at all. It is impossible to be in a relationship and not to have different opinions, not to feel disappointment or pain. If there are no disputes, most likely, the partners are not entirely honest with each other, and they do not have the desire to discuss their feelings. Such problems are manifested as passive aggression. Negative emotions require withdrawal, they are destructive to the body. As a result, you have digestive problems, insomnia, and headaches. You need to learn how to argue and be honest with yourself.
Jealousy
People mistakenly perceive it as a sign of love, but it is also associated with ownership and abuse. Jealousy can be a serious toxic habit. A great example of an unhealthy reaction to jealousy is monitoring a person online. If you have no reason to believe that your partner is cheating on you, then why are you doing that? Unfounded suspicions lead to the fact that a relationship turns quickly into toxic one because of a lack of trust.
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