With the admittance from director, Bernardo Bertolucci that he and Marlon Brando came up with the details of the controversial butter rape scene in 1973’s Last Tango in Paris scene without telling actress Maria Schneider, we thought we’d visit consensual non-consent sex (CNC).
She did not give consent to be betrayed by her co-star or director. She did not give consent to be violated in such a way for the big screen. Our hearts go out to her. We stand with her because she was violated.
If Bertolucci and Brando had been real men, they would have not exploited and violated Ms. Schneider in such a way that has now appalled and disgusted movie viewers and humans in general. If they had talked to Ms. Schneider, she could have easily given them the okay to film the controversial scene as a consensual non-consent sex scene.
What does consensual non-consent sex mean?
Unlike what young Ms. Schneider experienced, consensual non-consent sex is consent to certain types of sex acts that would one would normally say no to.
One consensual non-consent sex act that is fairly common is rape play. The raping isn’t necessarily the fantasy, but the exchange of power of one over another is usually the fantasy. When asked, most people who partake in rape play, are submissives who enjoy being dominated over. They agree to give up control. Consensual non-consent sex is is part of the dominance and submission of BDSM. The BDSM community does generally discourage using consensual non-consent to indicate rape play as they do understand the ramifications of rape and do not encourage the miscommunication that could potentially lead to serious psychological harm.
When one gives consensual non-consent permission, they relinquish control on a short term or long term basis with an extreme trust and understanding of yourself and your partner. Your blanket consent of whatever sexual act(s) you and your trusted partner have planned or discussed can happen at any time or place.
With CNC, you are giving up your control and allowing yourself to be dominated as the dominant?te or master pleases.
Though controversial in the BDSM communities, CNC usually falls to those who are in a 24/7 Master/Slave relationship. (You can think 50 Shades of Grey if Christian hadn’t fallen in love with a gal who wanted a career or her own life.)
If you are thinking of CNC, be smart and discuss everything with your trusted partner in full detail. CNC can be exciting but it can also be psychologically damaging ifn you nor your partner are ready to deal with consequences of your actions.
Interested at reading a firsthand experience? Check out blogger Cara Sutra’s experience with CNC play.